Trigger warning: I speak about the death of my father a few times throughout this letter. Please read on only if you feel comfortable with the topic of death and dying. However, I always bring even death back to theological/animistic understanding of hope and life.
Welcome to October's letter - which is all about the bewitching energy of this cozy, spooky, mysterious month that ushers in the dark half of the year. Before I dive into the energy and mood of October, though, I begin this letter with a very personal update on the perspectives, happening, and thoughts that have inspired this month's message. I want to share a bit of what is on my heart as this month begins.
So, grab something cozy to drink and settle in with me to explore the deep meanings of October as we reflect on how to bring the mystery and magic of the month into our everyday lives.
In the beginning of October last year, my beloved, hilarious, sweet father passed away and my whole world shifted. Nothing has been the same since. I miss him deeply and today just happens to be one year to the day since he moved on and crossed over to the Other Side. So, my emotions are quite raw this October.
In addition, Hurricane Helene ravaged and devastated much of my beloved mountains in Western North Carolina one week ago. So, as October began, I was in the midst of trying to have contact with my mother and brother (and his fam) who live in the area (they have since evacuated the area). I’ve slowly been hearing from other friends, but all of the helpless waiting has been very tough. Now, the true catastrophic conditions are beginning to emerge. Friends have lost their whole homes to the ancient river that flows through the NC mountains. Other friends have lost their businesses to and ruin. Recovery will take years. And nothing, no one, will ever be the same.
I have lived all over western NC and have connections, memories, old places of employment, favorite spots to visit, etc. - and all have been affected. All are suffering and struggling. Although I do not live there anymore, WNC is my community. It is my hometown. And I have spent this past week trying to process all of the feelings I have - worry, fear, anger, concern, helplessness, relief.
But, I also still live here in Sweden and have responsibilities in my everyday life. And, this week was extra tough at work with more responsibilities than usual.
So, I put off this letter, knowing that I would be in a better place when the weekend came and I could sit as long as I needed to write and process and feel it all.
Instead, all week long, I decided to focus on the present moment deeper than I perhaps ever had. I needed to create space and a mindset in which to balance it all. And, I must say, literally taking everything one task, one moment, one feeling at a time significantly reduced my worry and anxiety and stress. I felt quite grounded and anchored, even as I also felt overwhelmed and emotional all week long.
It all held up fine until my last responsibility at work on Friday afternoon. My exhaustion bubbled up from within and my emotions can spilling out as a few hot tears rolled down my face. Thankfully, I work with a quite small group of people and we are all personal and open with each other (in varying degrees, of course) about our own personal struggles at times. So, I just excused my exhaustion and explained my feelings, and then moved on to complete the rest of the day. As we all headed out, my colleagues offered me caring words, warm hugs, and even Friday night messages to check on me.
All in all, as the work week came to a close and I finally settled into the weekend, all I could think about was how blessed I am.
Blessed to have had a father in my life that loved so deeply.
Blessed that my family and friends in North Carolina are alive (as far as I know now).
Blessed that I have meaningful work and deeply supportive coworkers (and boss).
Blessed that I can share this all with my wife.
Of course, I miss my father more than words can say. The grief weighs heavy on my heart. Nothing is ok in WNC. Peoples’ lives are completely devastated. There is much suffering and pain across the world. Everyday life is tough. But, there is also love and hope and community and help and beauty to be found in nature, in people, and in the grounding cycling of life through it all.
Love and grief can (and do) exist at the same time. They exist because of each other. We cannot have love without grief, because all things end and change and transition. We cannot have grief without having loved. We cannot have life without death. And through death and endings, we find new life and new beginnings. None of it is easy. Nevertheless, it the beautiful, mysterious unfolding of life. And, best of all, we have each other to help us all along the way. We are folk meant for community and connection - and I am so very grateful for this community and these connections here on Substack.
So, with all of that now said, let us turn to October. The season of death, dying, magic, and mystery. Which I believe, is also the season of the beginning of hope and life.
Hello, you. It’s spooky season. October is here!
I loooove October. Always have. The mood, the vibe, the leaves, the colors, the apples and pumpkins, the breathtaking beauty and courage of nature to surrender and release itself to the dark half of the year, the mysterious feeling around Halloween that has always given me a sense of “something deep and true and haunting comes this way” , a sense of possibility and openness to spirit and magic. Something I couldn’t quite ever understand or describe. I’m not so sure that I could even do it now. Nevertheless, this month has always signaled to me that it is now time for the season of traditions and rituals to begin. And, year after year, I have been completely bewitched by October’s mood and energy.
Since my father’s passing last October, however, this month has become more than a bewitching idea and feeling. It has become more than the cozy, witchy month of spooky season bucket-lists filled with October activities. All of it has taken on a deeper, more real meaning for me over the past year.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am still going to make an October bucket-list. I am still going to decorate for Halloween. And partake in all things pumpkin.
But for me, the energy and mood of October has shifted from a cozy, spooky idea to a real, deep embodiment of October’s bewitching and mysterious energy. October is no longer a month that I simply feel, but a month that I experience.
Bewitching: enchanting, charming, fascinating. So much so, that you can’t think of anything else. First used in the mid-1500s. From the verb, bewitch. Which is, to cast a spell upon.
October is bewitching. It is a month that captures my attention each and every year. But, this bewitching spell that October casts upon me now has shifted. It almost feels as if now my soul merges with October’s energy.
I have long thought about and reflected upon the deep, dark themes of October. Release, endings, magic, and death. For years I have watched as the trees drop their leaves and surrender to the bare, cold winter months that lie ahead. I have heard Mother Nature whispering me to dare to do the same. And, I have, to the best of my ability, listened and followed. Willingly letting the darker months arrive, taking time to ponder the ending of the year, and letting the haunting, mysterious energy of October and November and December remind me that this is all a part of the cycle of life. That I, too, need these dark, empty months in order to continue my journey in life.
But, now I have experienced a personal death in the midst of the season of dying. With the passing of my father, the bewitching energy of October was made real. And I find myself experiencing this month, this season, in a whole different way. Of course it is much more difficult, but it is also much more real. It is as if I understand the cycle of life, and even more, the joy and beauty of being alive, on a deeper lever than ever before.
I see the leaves fall to the ground and nature draw back into herself in whole new way. I take it in personally. What does it mean to surrender? What do I need to let go of? What can death and dying teach me about rising and living? How does spirit move around and within me?
And, most importantly, what and how do I want want my life to mean and be while I am alive?
October’s golden, amber, and orange hues remind me that each moment is fleeting. The loss of my dad reminds me that every moment is precious. The haunting mood of the dark nights remind me that mystery and magic are real. That living in the liminal, border spaces of life make it possible to find hope and love even in the darkest moments. More than anything, October teaches me to be here, now. So that I can not only feel, but also experience and embody the bewitching energy of the month right in the middle of my everyday life.
But what does that look like? How do I embody the bewitching energy of October?
Well, to be honest, I do think that the death of my father changed my perspective, making my understanding of death and dying in the middle of autumn even more real and tangible. But, even more than that, I deeply believe that embodying the bewitching energy of October simply looks like being present in the energy the month brings.
It is both taking time to reflect on the shadows, the endings, the mystery, and the magic that I find in my life; but it is also simply embracing and fully living every single moment.
So, writing my October bucket-list is definitely something I will do this weekend.
Practicing rituals of card reading, writing letters to ancestors, decorating for Halloween, baking pumpkin bread, walking in the golden woods, spending evenings in meditation, watching scary movies under blankets, gathering with close friends, sitting with the questions and mysteries of life, soaking in the sun - these are all things and moments that I intend to create and soak up this October.
Of course, as the days pass, many unknown moments will also unfold. And, it is here that I will need to tap into the bewitching energy of October the most. To allow those moments that are dark and challenging and stressful to come and go, just as I allow the moments of beauty and bliss and calm come and go as well.
October’s bewitching energy calls to me and I surrender to the spell that October casts upon me - to breathe, release, and simply drop down in the moments as they come and go.
The time has come to embrace all of the cozy, spooky, moody, lovely energy that October offers me. With all of the pumpkins and leaves and the first dark, candlelit nights of the season. And to suspend my cynical, negative, unbelieving side in order to allow mystery, possibility, spirit, magic, and hope guide me all month long.
I wish you a most blessed, cozy, mystical and magical October, my friend. One that you not only feel, but that you also embody right in the middle of your everyday life.
May the darkness settle slowly in. And, may you allow the unfolding of this most mysterious season bring your wisdom and calm and hope, come what may.
xoxo. liz.
☀️ October sunrise/sunset times in Norrköping, Sweden (Mondays)
07 October - 7:14 / 18:10
14 October - 7:30 / 17:51
21 October - 7:46 / 17:32
28 October - 7:02 / 16:14
✨ 🌙 Sacred Days + Folk Festivals
02 October New Moon in Libra
17 October Full Hunter Moon
31 October Samhain/All Hallow’s Eve (Halloween)
01 November New Moon in Scorpio, All Saint’s Day, Witch’s new year
🎵 The playlist
October’s playlist sets a haunting, witchy, mysterious mood. It's finally spooky season, so it is time to drop down into the magical energy of October. Feel the soft, shadowy, spooky vibes and let your wild and wise inner witch out. Enjoy!
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