Hello, you.
Welcome to July! How do you feel as you enter this month? What energy are you bringing to it; and what energy does this month have in store for you?
I’ve been pondering just how I feel about this month for a day now. And, yesterday, as I sat at my kitchen table, steaming coffee in hand, ready to sit down and write to you, I glanced at my calendar, open to the entire month of July, also on the table beside me. I decided I wanted to pause for a second and feel what I feel about this month. I could sense that I needed a moment to gather my thoughts.
So, how do I feel about July? This July?
It only took a few seconds of honest, quiet meditating to tap into my feelings. As I looked at the month laid out in front of me in my calendar, with three weeks blocked off, I felt worry and anxiety.
Those three blocked off weeks are when we are in the States. Of course, usually I am so excited about vacation and visiting the States in the summer. Plus, the last time we were in the States during the summer was before the pandemic. I mean, 2019?! I should be giddy with excitement right now. And, I am excited. I am looking forward to it so much. But, I’m also worry-filled and anxiety-ridden.
I’m still going through 2 different life-changing crises at the same time. One, that affects my wife and me. The other affects my family in the States - and called for an unexpected 10 day trip there in May. So, based on how things were in May, it’s going to be a rough trip this July. But, that is what my therapist is for. To help me figure out how balance it all. Rest, grief, stress, care, joy, fear.
But, instead of just staying with these somewhat negative feelings about July, I wanted to drop past the anxiety and worry and move deep into a more intuitive, meaningful, spiritual vision for the month ahead.
So, July.
After a few more moments of silent reflection, to move deeper past the worry + anxiety, I was reminded of the energy of rest, freedom, and reset that July brings. It is a pause in the year. A break, a divider, and a step away from the ordinary and the mundane. I think it has always been that for me. And, even with the heaviness that my soul feels as I enter this high summer month, I still feel the same.
June is chaotic and hectic and bursting with energy and life (in both good and challenging ways).
August is a steamy, golden, slow settling back into the daily rhythms of everyday life.
But, July is something altogether different. It is a break from the norm. It can be wild adventures of escape and exploration. It can also be a return to old traditions, celebrations, and gatherings. So, too, can it be a slow, quiet, long drink of medicine for the soul. July is nature, inspiration, parties with margaritas, hammocks, wanderings, bbqs, roadtrips, slow coffee mornings, big cities, countryside drives, camps with family, seaside solitude, iced tea and lazy porch naps.
I think that each July has a different feel to it. Some are more hectic and exciting, while others are more laid-back and lazy. But, somehow, July always brings me exactly what I need.
Perhaps my anxiety and worry about this July is because I don’t know what to expect. What type of month am I in for?
Of course, realistically (and perhaps for the best), July often contains all 3 vibes at the same time. Though, if I’m honest, perhaps not as much of the. slow, solitary vibe as I would like. There are moments sprinkled in throughout summers past, but never quite as much as this introverted soul craves. Instead, July becomes more active and extroverted and centered on other people than I’d really like - or need.
And there we have it.
My anxiety and worry is rooted in the fear that, in the middle of two crises, I will not get what I need this summer - time, peace, rest, inspiration, solitude, and calm. And I need the rest and rest of July soooo bad this year.
Instead of a cool drink on a lazy, hot summer’s day beside a flowing river, I’m afraid I’ll be caught in a storm offshore. Tossed and thrown about by angry waves, barely keeping my head above the surface, fighting to keep from drowning.
And so this is how it may be this summer - stormy.
Instead of wishing for another type of July, however, what I want is to simply know how to survive the storms that this one may bring.
Is it as simple as:
Go with the flow. Don’t fight, float. Like they teach you to do if you fall out when you’re whitewater rafting. Or…
Practice grounding. Spend time meditating, journaling, praying, breathing, anything to be present and create inner calm.
Or is it to just fucking hold on? To ride out the storm.
Perhaps there is nothing to do but to hang on. To surrender to the moment. To feel it all. To let it all come - and go.
Because it will - come and go, that is. Just like the waves. Just like a storm. Just like the seasons and the months.
The storm will settle. The waves will calm. I may be torn and tattered, beaten and waterlogged, but I will be changed. I will be stronger. I will be deeper.
And this July will be a reset - just like every other one in the past.
Now, just because I write about all of these anxieties and worries I have for a stormy July doesn’t mean that is how it will be. Sometimes there are storms on the horizon that blow right by.
Still, I wonder if there is anything I can do ahead of any pending storm, though, to prepare to help me ride out whatever stormy weather may pass by.
I guess I am doing all I can already, actually. I am aware. I am feeling what I feel (as opposed to ignoring it). I am talking about it - with my wife, my therapist, and well, with you too. I am gathering the tools and strategies I need to stay balanced and grounded. Of course, by preparing, opening up, and sending my thoughts and fears out into the universe I am absolutely being vulnerable, but I am also releasing some of my anxiety and worry which makes space for all of the other adventures, rest, inspiration, and celebrations that July may bring.
This very well may be a stormy July. And I will have anxiety about that. It is also summer. And there will be days of sunshine and laughter. So, I will hold space for the beauty and joy as well.
I know that storms come and go all throughout life. And I will continue to learn how to create space, even in the storm, for what I need. I have the power to choose my mindset, to carve out moments of solitude, to find inspiration all around me, to believe, to accept, and to flow.
Most importantly, I will breathe and hold on.
So, yeah. Sunny with a chance of storms. And, just like every year, July will be a month of rest, freedom, and reset.
xoxo. liz.
You are so right about July being mixed energy-- it could definitely go either way. I usually just hide in July because it's so hot here in Florida, and I just wish it to be over. Haha
I hope your July isn't too stormy, and that you can move past those crises soon. Where in the states are you going?
Thank you for this post, you definitely made me think on what energy I want to bring in this month!