feeling my way into june (and the huge changes to come)

soft, blurry lines | midsummer magic | the unknown path forward

Hello, you.

It’s June 1st and the sun is still high in the sky at 8pm as I sit down to write to you. The temperature is a warm 19c/65f and the air feels thick, almost as if the first summer storm is brewing. The summer nights are here. And I am using this first June evening to finally set aside some time to reconnect. With you, with my soul, and with this ritual that brings me such peace and inspiration.

I’ve been away from Substack completely for a month now. And, just so you know, it was most definitely not intentional. At the same time, I honestly kind of saw it coming.

As May begin, I knew that a month filled with activity awaited me. And, I was totally right. May was filled with everything except down time, slow moments, and my usual daily rituals. And every day, all month long, challenged me. But, I surrendered to the energy of May, followed the rhythm of the earth, and allowed life to simply burst forth from me, embracing as best I could the much more fast-paced nature of the past thirty days.

There was a loooot at work, including a trip to Milan for a three day conference and workshop, which was so inspiring and amazing. There were many days and evenings of social events and gatherings, all cozy and lovely. There were birthday celebrations (Bear the cat and my love) and inspiring movies of heroes like John Lennon and Bob Dylan. There was a joyful Pride week, a somber and beautiful funeral, and wild changes for me at work.

But, the thing that has taken up most of my time this month is something that I haven’t spoken to you about yet, even though I’ve been working on things behind the scenes since March, but also for the past two years.

My wife and I are moving Stockholm - and tomorrow is the closing!

Tomorrow we get the keys!

After losing our baby some years ago, then trying both IVF and insemination for years, we discussed all of the options that we had before us and finally decided to move forward in our life without having children of our own. At the exact same time my father passed away. The feelings of loss and grief were overwhelming. So, we decided to start dreaming - dreaming about what life we wanted to build and create, dreaming about getting back to who we were, or, even better, growing and thriving and evolving even more.

It was clear to us that moving to Stockholm was exactly what we wanted and needed. We crave the pulse, the vibe, the culture, the art, the inspiration, the opportunities of big city life. And Stockholm has always been a dream, especially the area of Södermalm, also informally known as the Greenwich Village of Stockholm. A place where artists, outcasts, creatives, hipsters, activists, working folk, independents, alternative cultures and all kinds of people all meet and live. It is an area of Stockholm teeming with life and inspiration.

So, we started putting away money and growing our savings, until finally this past February, we had enough of a buffer to start actually looking at apartments. It took a few rounds of showings, but we found one and actually “won it” two days after the showing! I will not even take the time to begin to explain the stressful drama that is the Swedish property buying market.

Needless to say, it is a dream apartment for us. It’s a 20s co-op apartment on the 1st floor (one flight up). Super tiny, but with everything we need. And freshly renovated with 1920s fixtures and styles, so it is completely move-in ready. And so very unique and funky.

With that said, this month has been filled with selling and donating and packing items in our current home. And it has been so much work. We even had a flea market in our apartment for family and friends last weekend - which was intense, but super cozy as well. And it’s always nice to know that our things are living on in loved ones homes.

But, tomorrow, the time has finally come. We head to Stockholm, sign our final papers, and become official homeowners again. And we are so grateful we are beyond words.

Slowing down as I enter June

So, May was wild and crazy and a bit unbalanced for me. I loved all of the activity, I really did. But, now that June is here, I need to reclaim some of my slow ways again. And, even though we don’t officially move until the end of June, so it will continue to be a bit wild and crazy and busy this month, I can already feel the shift of the energy as a new month begins. I know that I will settle into a sense of balance and alignment as June unfolds.

I already feel a bit of a deeper connection to myself after the constant activity of May. The energy will continue to grow and build as the sun reaches its zenith in mid-June on the solstice. But, after that, we slide into the slower, sultry summer vibes of late June and July. And the energy will begin to descend once again as the earth settles into her time of fullness and abundance.

Feeling my way forward

The oracle card I pulled for June is the Fog card. “Such a strange card”, I remember thinking back on New Year’s Day, when I turned it over. Fog and June have nothing to do with each other. I mean, that’s not typical weather for us in June in the northern hemisphere.

Then, I thought about the mood of fog and fogginess - and that’s not at all the mood or vibe that I would want for June. So, what was the deal with this card? I knew I would just have to wait and see, of course; especially since I do not use oracle cards as divination or future-telling. I use them in the moment, to simply feel whatever messages my soul whispers to me.

So, this evening, I pulled out the fog card and just sat with it. And, of course, tonight it made perfect sense.

Fog is like a thin veil, hiding, covering, or blurring what we usually can see. It softens things. Blurs the edges. Brings a sense of mystery and otherworldliness. It requires us to trust and believe, even when we do not know.

As I move into June, it is clear to me that there is much that I do not know. I cannot see the path ahead, but I know that it is there. I have no idea how the month will unfold (do we ever?) and what the future holds. But, I know that it will be exactly as it should.

Perhaps the fog card has come to remind me to not only trust and believe, but to soften, to seek the mysterious and magical, and to feel my way forward - one step, one moment, one day at a time.

June is meant to be savored and enjoyed as we slip slowly into summer. This is not a time to rush, even when we are busy. Or, when we do find ourselves in the midst of chaos and activity, to do our best to remember to be present in it. To feel our way around it, to use all of our senses, to move gently and softly through all of our days this month. And to know that the fog, the unknown, the veil that covers our eyes and blurs our vision calls on us to rely on the magic of our own intuition just a little bit more this month.

So, now, I feel that the fog of June is exactly what I need as I move (literally) into a new month, a new season, and a new era in life. Perhaps the soft, blurry, mysterious magic of fog is exactly what you need this month as well. A reminder to move slowly, to feel your way forward, to trust your senses and your intuition, to know that the path is there, even if you can’t see it.

June, with all of its midsummer magic is a chance to connect with the otherworld, with spirit, and with our witchy ways. The fog is our companion on this journey, perhaps literally, but also figuratively; helping us to tap into the power of the present moment and to trust in all that we cannot see, but feel and know. Trust yourself, trust the whispers of your soul. Infuse your June days with drops of intention and magic. Be aware of the change that is brewing and the opportunities that you are creating. And focus on creating sacred moments and sacred spaces.

And, if you don’t know how, or if you feel lost in it all, just feel your way forward. The fog will lift and the sun will shine again.

Wishing you days bright, warm sun; but also days with spooky, mysterious fog. I’ll be in touch as soon as I can. Until then, sending you love and magic this June.

xoxo. liz.

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